Skullduggery

I took my dressing gown off this morning, and realised that I still had skull and crossbone transfer tattoos on my chest from Saturday night's pirate outing. How I failed to notice this while I was showering is a mystery. It turns out that soap and water doesn't remove them. Neither does exfoliating body scrub. 'Nail varnish remover', I thought. Do I possess such a thing? Nope. So it was that at half past seven, when I ought to have been at the bus stop, I was scrubbing my boobs with a cotton bud soaked in vodka. Of course I then put my dress on and discovered that it completely covered said area anyway, so I missed my train for no reason and had to turn up at work late and smelling like an alcoholic. What a tramp.