My life as a penguin

Everywhere is cold.......outside, in my house, in the office.......if I were a penguin, I would be so much more comfortable. Someone would have to lift me onto my chair at work, but once I was up there I could quite happily slap away at the keyboard with my wings, and honk down the phone, and all would be well. Then I could come home through the Arctic weather without feeling like bits of me were about to drop off. Once home, and having been assisted to open the baby gate, I would be entirely comfortable in my bed, which is, after all, approximately the same temperature as a snow drift. Why has nobody lauded this already as a flawless solution to Winter?