How to anger a librarian

Ever wondered how best to wind up your average library worker? Probably not if you're even remotely normal, but then you are reading this blog, which likely means you're my friend, which means 'normal' is not necessarily a given.
Here's how to go about it:

1) Forget your manners. Your mother would be ashamed if she could hear the way you're speaking to me.

2) Walk away while I'm still giving you instructions, then come back two minutes later complaining that you can't log on to the computer. Of course you can't. You walked away while I was telling you how.

3) Throw your toys out of your pram because a book 'isn't where it's supposed to be', when my first effort to double check this will prove that it's exactly where it's supposed to be. You just didn't look properly.

4) Call me 'Babe'.

5) Wait until you get to the front of the queue to start looking for your library card.

6) Quibble about a 17p fine.

7) Approach me when I'm shelving to ask where you'd find a book on 18th century Chinese pottery. Do you really think I can tell you the dewey number of every obscure tome off the top of my head?

8) Snap your fingers to get my attention. Do I look like a dog?!
    Don't answer that.

9) Drum your fingers on the counter when you think I'm taking too long to serve the person in front. Believe me, that's just going to make me move slower.

10) Tell me you're looking for a book you read once before. You can't remember what it was called...or who wrote it...but it had a red cover, and in the end it turned out they were sisters.

N.B. This is not an exhaustive list. I'm sure, given time and dedication, you could come up with many more ways of pissing off librarians. Please don't experiment on me or I will be forced to throw a book at you. It will be a heavy one.