Ticket lottery blues

This week saw the draw for the new Burning Man ticket lottery and, I think it's safe to say, it was not a success. I have heard estimates that say 1/3 of people got the tickets they requested, but I suspect it's lower than that. I know many dozens of people who applied and, at last count, I'm only aware of six who got tickets. Many theme camps and projects are concerned that they will not be able to attend the event. Alongside that is the fact that this new process was supposed to discourage scalpers, but there are already numerous overpriced tickets on various resale websites.

Now, I'm not a ticketing or event management expert, and offered no advice to BMorg on the system prior to its inception, so I don't have the kind of anger and frustration endemic to those who attempted to tell them that this would happen. I can understand why they feel that way though, and I myself have expressed my bitter disappointment at not being among the chosen few. None of this surprises me. What has surprised me is the response of others to that disappointment and anger. We have been told we are whingers, we are self-entitled, we need to grow up. And all this by people I consider to be reasonable adults and, sometimes, by people I consider to be friends.

What I'm wondering is, when exactly did it become such a bad thing to express negative emotions? If we're disappointed, why should we not say so? If we're hurt or distressed, why is it socially unacceptable for us to cry? I've seen two distinct groups of people expressing similar views this week, in this situation and others. One group is the idealists; those who state that the negativity isn't productive, that we should continue to hope, to believe, to have faith. The other group holds true to the classic stiff-upper-lip philosophy, and encourages us to bottle up our feelings and not let anybody see them, for fear of betraying weakness.

What stuns me about both groups is the lack of honesty. Human beings are not automata, capable of being subjected to any amount of emotional abuse without response. Neither are we happy little pixies, cheerful all the time, immune to any feeling other than joy. To claim otherwise is to lie to ourselves and others. We are subject to a whole range of emotions; some positive, some negative, but none 'good' or 'bad'. It bemuses me that people are so determined to shut down any expression of what they consider to be 'bad' feelings. As one of my friends succinctly put it: "People are talking about how they *feel* about the way they have been treated. You are in no position to take that away from them - feelings are personal, the interpretation of action against one is personal". For myself, I can't help wondering why one person's feelings of disappointment, sadness or hurt are perceived as a weakness in their character, or why, if these feelings are indeed a sign of weakness, they are so threatening to the people around them.