Friday 19 November 2010

I've got a theory.......it could be bunnies

I have a theory. It's tenuous, so you may have to bear with me on this one, but I became convinced today of its existence. I think that studying literature turns one into an involuntary amateur psychoanalyst. You spend so much time analysing words; everything that's said, the way it's said, in what context, what isn't being said. It's inevitable that the approach would bleed out into real life, whether you want it to or not. But then, as somebody with a more than generous supply of paranoia and social insecurity, I've always read a lot into the things people say. So maybe it isn't so much that studying literature has made me do this, but that it has given me the habits and skills to make me really, really obsessive about it. Why this word rather than that one? Is the presence or absence of an exclamation mark going to change the entire tone of this email? Does that statement reflect the feelings of the character or merely what the narrator wishes the reader to believe to be the feelings of the character? Oddly enough, in the context of that rather convoluted sentence, the narrator and character are the same person; the one speaking to me. I seem to be conferring multiple personality disorder on those I communicate with, or at the very least a rather worrying premeditative and manipulative attitude to their dealings with others. Of course, all this isn't to say that I ever get my analyses right. I'm still impressively bad at reading social cues, and regularly screw up epically due to some spectacular misjudgement of someone's character or intentions. In fact, maybe it's my unnecessary engagement in the minutiae of people's speech that blinds me to the bigger picture. I'm so busy worrying about the inference of their last sentence that I completely fail to notice that they're upset, flirting with me, angry, or just a despicable human being. Perhaps some day I'll learn to see the wood without looking at the trees. In the meantime....bonus points for anyone who can identify the quote in the title.....

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