Amsterdam

My trip to Amsterdam didn't begin hugely well, what with nearly missing the plane due to the Gatwick Express being delayed and my bag being searched at security, the man on the plane who insisted on putting said bag in the overhead locker for me because he thought I was pregnant, me being too embarassed to correct him and therefore ordering a juice instead of a G&T from the trolley, then bumping into him at the bus stop as I was smoking a cigarette and being looked at like I was scum (It's no wonder I don't like travelling). Once I arrived it was just wonderful though. I got to spend time with friends I don't see nearly enough of, sleep spooning the world's soppiest rottweiler, and view the canal-borne pride parade from prime position perched atop the battlements of their roof terrace.

The carnival atmosphere was incredibly special, but one of the high points for me was the opportunity to see how thoroughly gay pride was being embraced. Lots of the floats were sponsored by large, prominent corporations - capitalist whoring of course, but how wonderful that supporting varied sexuality is seen as a positive advertising opportunity, rather than as a box to be reluctantly ticked to be seen to be toeing the equal opportunities line. No "Yes, we have a policy on diversity......in a box somewhere......let us know if you need it and we'll try and dig it out......in a few months time". Just "Hi everyone! We love gays! Buy our product!". And I've never been to a pride parade before, so I may be wrong, but I can't imagine the UK emergency services (And certainly not the US') allowing their employees to take part in such a thing. Amsterdam's police, fire brigade, paramedics and armed forces were on a float, in their uniforms, with a banner proclaiming that they are 'Proud to Serve'. It was so touching it gave me goosebumps.

So, for future reference, the perfect weekend includes - Celebratory camp, ornamental water feature paddling, burners, chilli, canine cuddles, a rain-soaked walk to the red light district, a playground, beer, singing Doris Day at full volume, coffee with Baileys, and the purchase of a tacky Delft-style lighter.