Chapter one - things to remember
- Righty tighty, lefty loosey.
- Your back is injured.
Chapter two - shit not to do
- The Internet will suggest pulling out and tipping the machine. Do not attempt this.
- Do not pull the cap off the drainage hose with your teeth.
- Do not underestimate the volume of water the machine contains or the stagnant rankness of it when you subsequently get a mouthful.
- Do not overestimate a) the capacity of a dish or b) the absorbency of a towel.
- Do not ever leave a draining washing machine unattended (see above).
- Do not assume the cat will not attempt to drink filthy filter water even though her water bowl is mere inches away.
Chapter three - things you will find in the filter
- Fluff
- Playa dust
- Diamantes
- Lollipop stick
- Glowstick connectors
- Donkey finger puppet
Chapter four - post-draining
- Return clean filter to position (with difficulty).
- Switch on machine.
- Discover machine still doesn't work.
- Cry.
- Desert feminism and wish you had a boyfriend or butch girlfriend to fix this for you.
- Give up and pour a gin.
*UPDATE*
Chapter five - twenty minutes later
- Return to machine and press 'on' again in the vain hope that it will have miraculously fixed itself.
- Discover miracles really do happen!
- Pour another gin.
This donkey finger puppet. Was it yours? How does that even happen?
ReplyDeleteYes, it was mine. I wasn't aware I had lost it, so it can't have been terribly precious to me.
ReplyDelete