Flip-flop -splish-splash

Flip-flops are a bad idea in the rain. I don't particularly mind the whole wet feet thing, but I could do without the liberal splatters of mud that they flick up the back of my legs and skirt.

Things that make me smile No.53

I saw a pearly king and queen walking through the City the other day, making the city boys in their suits look as drab as if a pair of flamingos had joined the pigeons in Trafalgar Square. The lady laughed and winked at me as I passed. I think she must have been amused by the expression of childlike joy that leapt onto my face when I saw them.

Things that make me smile No.52

Men who try to look macho while walking daft little rats masquerading as dogs. It's never gonna happen mate. Get a real dog.

Adventure

I want to go on some mini-adventures. I don't think I make enough out of living in this amazing city so, now that the exam stress is over, I want to go and explore it. Of course all explorations need to be free or very cheap, as I'm still poverty stricken, but there must be loads to do that doesn't require money. The first thing I want to do is go and swim at Hampstead Heath ponds. I've never been and I feel this should be rectified. Want to come with me?

Yick

Peppermint tea is like downing a mug of hot toothpaste. Wrong. Just wrong.

Things that make me smile No.51

Today I have my last exam for my degree. By 5pm it will all be over. As I'm writing this on Saturday, I don't know how I'm feeling, but I like to think that I will spend the evening in a pub garden somewhere, soaking up a bit of evening sunshine and getting happily drunk. Of course it's entirely possible that I won't have slept in several days and, instead of celebrating, will fall into bed at about 8 and sleep like...something that sleeps a lot.....er....a koala? I imagine koalas sleep quite sweetly; all snug and satisfied with little puffs of snuffling eucalyptus breath. Yes, I think I'd like to sleep like a koala.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the last exam. I wonder if I'm panicking yet? I suspect I may be. In my first year of uni I got so stressed about my exams that I didn't sleep or eat. Of course, the inevitable happened, and I fainted mid-way through the exam, pulling my chair and desk over with me, and landing practically in the lap of a girl who would later become my friend. As if that wasn't undignified enough, my skirt flipped up around my waist, flashing my knickers at the row of devout, burqa-clad Muslim girls alongside me. In a shock twist, I actually got my best mark that year for that exam. I think I'll settle for a lower mark though, if that is the price I have to pay for a good one.

Hop little bunnies!

I do baby rhymetime sessions sometimes at work. I quite enjoy it really, but it does require some forward planning when getting dressed in the morning. For instance, it's obviously a lot easier to crawl around on the floor with small children, or under the bookshelves to plug the cd player in, if you remember to wear trousers. It's also, as I discovered on Friday, a good idea to wear...how shall I put this?...adequately supportive undergarments. It's quite difficult to dance around to "hop, hop, hop little bunnies" when you have to hold your arms over your chest for fear of giving yourself two black eyes.

Ode to the Chameleon

Apparently it wasn't sufficient to write a post for every other day last week. Apparently it is also unacceptable for those posts to appear at 10am. With this in mind I have scheduled this week's posts to appear at 6am, and have written one for every day of the week. We at alittlenutmeg value our customers. They are always right. Of course my time could possibly be better used today by revising for my exam on Tuesday, but that is unimportant. I would just like to take this opportunity to inform everyone that, if I fail my degree, it is entirely the fault of the Chameleon.

Things that make me smile No.50

I saw an old lady on the bus who seemed to have taken Zandra Rhodes as her role model. She had vividly dyed hair, multi-coloured make-up with diamante jewels along one cheekbone, and an extraordinarily eclectic mix of clothing. When she got off the bus people were turning to each other and laughing or sneering. I was full of admiration though. I hope I look just like her when I'm her age.

Side effects

At around the same time as I started this blog, I started dieting, and have lost a lot of weight. I haven't talked about it on here as I think I talk about it too much in real life and, frankly, it's very dull, but there are some odd side effects that I wanted to mention. One is that there are several people who I've known vaguely for a long time, and who never had much time for me before, who seem to suddenly consider me worth talking to. It seems slightly peculiar, and I wonder if there's been an accompanying change in my personality as my confidence has recovered that makes me more fun to talk to now, or if they're just that shallow. The other effect is that people have started chatting me up again. Obviously this is quite enjoyable, but there is a little, contrary part of me that regrets the loss of the 'git filter', the repellent that being overweight provided against superficial people. Now I can't help but look at people who ask me out, or flirt, and wonder whether they would they have liked me before. Not because it would upset me if they wouldn't have, but because I'd know whether they were worth the effort of getting to know.

Things that make me smile No.49

I'm constantly charmed by the little moments of friendship that strike me as strangely touching, such as being able to ask a mate to adjust your bra straps or pick that weird hair from under your skin without them batting an eyelid.

I'm trying

I currently have no internet access at home, and my weekday job has evil blocks on the computers which stop me accessing this site, so I'm only really able to blog from my Saturday job. In order not to disappoint my loyal fans (well, the chameleon, who once told me she looks at my blog every morning - lies!), I'm going to attempt to line up posts today and schedule them to go out on different days this week. I've never tried this before, so I'm not sure how it'll work, but I'll give it a go.

What is the world coming to?

Yesterday a man in the library threw a book at my head because there weren't any slots left on the computers. Minor concussion and a tory government all in one day? I despair.

Highly visible

Yesterday I spent the day working for one of London's major tourist attractions. The job involved standing around in the cold asking people whether they wanted to visit the exhibition. Most importantly, it also involved my first ever high-visibility jacket. The jacket makes you look official. Unfortunately, the employer's logo is very small, so it just makes you look generally official, which means you get asked a lot of questions that do not in any way pertain to the job you're supposed to be doing. These range from the logical to the completely inane.
'Where is the nearest tube station/toilet/McDonalds?'
'Is there a height restriction to go over the bridge?'
'Why did they build a castle right in the busiest part of London?'
And my personal favourite. 'You know the Union Jack?' I nod to acknowledge I have heard of such a beast. 'Which of the stripy bits represents which country?'

It was bitingly cold by the river. It actually hailed at one point. I was wearing afore-mentioned flourescent yellow jacket with two fleeces, a cardigan, a long-sleeved top, a short-sleeved top and a thermal vest. For the record, this little lot is not enough to keep you warm. It is also not enough to stop men attempting to stare at your tits. Seriously mister, what can you possibly hope to see through that lot? The high-vis jacket may not protect you from perves, but it does make you highly visible to cyclists. Unfortunately, they being Evil London Cyclists, this just means they have something clear to aim for.